Fell asleep in my warmest clothes, safe in the knowledge it was summer back home.
Woke up next to a pile of rat shit, feeling like a pile of rat shit.
With my ears ringing from weeks of shows, cities I can't remember populated by people I don't know.
And I've never felt better or more full of hope, never been so competently able to cope.
We went for breakfast at your parents' house,
I felt inspired by everything we spoke about,
Electric letters for free I send you while you sleep,
Are all coming back to haunt me now,
I miss the little sounds you make when you wake up,
Miss the entire notion of waking up next to you,
With our knotted hair tangled on the pillows that we shared.
And from here I can see my high school
And I can see my parents' house.
Can see the people I grew up with
And the excuses I have buried them in now.
And I don't deserve anywhere near this much.
Sleeping in basements with all five of us, waking up under mouldy blankets to scratches and coughs
Remember where the van is, find the van keys and
And from nowhere I can see myself taking insults and not playing with others well.
And first impressions run deep but your memories of me
Will always be as unhealthy as they are unclean.
And I say I don't mind and that everything's fine,
But it's getting so hard to get my nose over the line,
And I don't respect myself so why should anybody else,
Think that what I'm doing is right?
When it'd be just as easy to fuck around and get high for the rest of my life.